do I get them a present too?

wedding cufflinks
here’s a blog reader email:
We are getting married on march 6th, I have bought a present for our bridesmaids, groomsmens, and our moms, still debating about what to get our dads either hankies or cufflinks, but here is where I run into an issue, my fiances mom has been remarried and so has his dad, neither one (of the new spouses) helped raise my fiance he was older like 14 or 15 with his dads new wife and like 17 or 18 with his moms new husband, well I am getting ALL the guys boutinerres including his moms husband, I am getting all the ladies a corsage, including his dads wife (which he is not with anymore, but are coming to the wedding together) so I get his dads wife a present/and his moms husband a present?
it is actual customary to buy the wedding party a gift and the parents.
Anyone can provide more help on his issue? Please use the comment section.

20 replies
  1. llllllllll
    llllllllll says:

    why are you buying them gifts anyways….its not a birthday…its YOUR wedding. screw them. make THEM buy it.

  2. iwishiweresomewheretropical
    iwishiweresomewheretropical says:

    I don’t think it’s normal to buy the parents a present in the first place. Just the wedding party!

  3. Camilla H
    Camilla H says:

    just give everone at least a small present, it’s polite plus shows that you welcome them in the family.

  4. Sarah Sugar butt
    Sarah Sugar butt says:

    I would if they are coming together!!! It’s up to you and your future husband…what does he think?? I would say yes !!

  5. Deanri
    Deanri says:

    My fiance has this issue but he says that no matter how many times they marry, he only has one mother and one father responsible for his birth and they are the only ones that are being recognized. Especially since the new spouses didn’t help raise him.

  6. Luna
    Luna says:

    wow i had to read that twice to make sure i got it 😉
    i think the flowers should be enough… it already sounds like more then you need to be doing since i don’t think it’s customary to get the parents gifts too. if your really bothered by it just get them something small. but i think if your getting flowers that would be enough.

  7. amazing_creation
    amazing_creation says:

    You are not obligated to get the ‘new spouses’ gifts.

    You can get them gifts if you want to, but the corsages/boutinerres are already a nice gesture.

    I would not worry about this. The day is not about you giving out gifts. It’s about you getting married. It would be petty and inappropriate for anyone to get upset about not getting a gift.

    You’ve got more important things to worry about… like getting married! Don’t sweat this one. 🙂

  8. justshell2007
    justshell2007 says:

    I would buy for all of them. It may stretch the budget but you won’t have to worry about any hard feelings.

  9. moira corbett
    moira corbett says:

    well since you are the bride at this wedding you defiantly have to get presents because it is your special day and it was really nice of you to bye the bridesmaids, groomsman’s and your moms all presents they will be very happy with you and they might even get you a different present that they already got you (like a dearer one).

  10. songbird092962
    songbird092962 says:

    Florida F in S is correct. A small gift only for the actual Mom and Dad is the custom. It is very considerate to include the later spouses in the flowers however.

  11. Jenny
    Jenny says:

    i believe its truely yp to you because wedding are the day of the groom and bride. your so kind to give more than just thank you cards. it will depend on how close you are to them now

  12. ?•?•Cassie•?•?
    ?•?•Cassie•?•? says:

    It is customary to get the parents a gift as a thank you for the contributions they have made. It’s usually not something large. How about something the parents and step parents could use together? Or one of those wedding albums that say “My son’s wedding”? If the step parents are involving themselves with the wedding then I would get them a small gift, even if it’s just a gift certificate for a manicure before the big day.

  13. jlunchbox
    jlunchbox says:

    getting the parents a gift is not customary. it’s a nice touch, but we didn’t do it and most people don’t.

    we took all of the parents (and step parents) out to dinner 2 nights before the wedding as a thank you. much better than presents.

  14. Michelle J
    Michelle J says:

    I don’t think it’s necessary, unless your fiance feels that you should. It really depends on his relationship with them, I think. If he has an exceptionally strong relationship with them, even though they didn’t raise him, it might be nice. If he’s as stumped as you are, you don’t need to. But then again, sometimes it’s good to be on the safe side and make everyone happy, if it’s only going to cost a few extra dollars.

  15. djtramper29
    djtramper29 says:

    I think the flowers should be enough but if you are feeling guilty about it maybe you could get them a couple gift so that the step-dad is included with his mom’s gift, and the step-mom is included with his dads gift. If I were you thats what I would do.

  16. Kelly
    Kelly says:

    I think it would be a nice touch to get the step parents a gift as well. Shows you seem them as a part of your new family. Good luck with the wedding.

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